Control Ultimate Edition (2020) or a gorgeous satire on parascience!

Dedicated to all those initiated into the secret and to skeptics. I know for sure that today you were walking down the street, went into your home, turned on your computer, clicked a little with the mouse and opened… a super-secret file with ironclad and irrefutable proof of the existence of everything that cannot exist! Well, okay, instead of evidence, you just ran into a review of Control, where the author, due to personal nostalgia, literally admires the game!

And no, it’s not the combat or even the plot that I admire, which is largely implemented just to be. I remember the dashing 90s and the obsession of many people with mysticism and all kinds of concealment. Then I was small and terribly fanatical about this topic. And then Control reminded me of those fun days, so that I could laugh a little at myself and at the great mysteries beyond! And yes, I know that Control was inspired by the SCP universe, in which everything is almost always serious. But it is in the game that I see open mockery of mysticism, aliens, the astral plane and belief in the conspiracy of the secret services.

Now tell me, have you ever watched The X Files?? Yes, yes, the same series from the 90s, in which special agent Mulder searched for the Truth hidden in the archives! Do you remember where it started?? Since young Mulder witnessed the abduction of his sister Samantha by aliens. At least he was sure that his sister was abducted not by a psychopath, but by a real UFO.

Then he grew up and became an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, where at first he even gained a reputation as one of the best profilers, but then he began to use his powers to reach and make public those same secret archives with evidence of the cover-up of human abduction by aliens and, most importantly, the cover-up of an alien invasion on Earth!

In other episodes, in his tireless zeal, he even went so far as to be ready to sneak into a secret military base in order to take a look… at a UFO! You all know that in closed hangars at secret bases they hide? Yes, yes, those same plates! And somewhere nearby is the Truth, that is, a living alien! Perhaps he is exhausted and waiting for help, or maybe he is evil and people should definitely know about it! About this and about the fact that ghosts, transmigration of souls, levitation, telekinesis, telepathy, Atlantis, Lemuria, the Sphinx on Mars, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster and the Chupacabra are not bullshit, but reality! All this is an objective reality, but the government hides and hides! Hides and zombies with the twenty-fifth frame, so that you would never, ever, ever want to look beyond the line!

And here I really want to remember the episode in which Mulder came to the Pentagon. Yes, yes, to the very center of the world military and occultism, where the devil himself sometimes appears! Where did I get this from?? So, from the shape of the building, which was built for a reason not in the shape of a cube or parallelipiped, but in the shape of a devilish sign – a pentagram! In general, our Mulder came there with a fake pass to find out the whole truth about secret experiments and terrifying experiments on those who were kidnapped by the plates. He came in, he saw something and he left. Because it will take me a long time to explain to you why, but here, naturally, there were some terrible and insidious plans of some from the world behind the scenes.

Well, now let’s try to imagine how Mulder, being an ordinary citizen, decided to come at least to the FBI for the sake of that same search for his sister. And, if not in the FBI, then in the NSA, just to take it and… Improvise on the spot in the name of justice, civil rights, freedom of information and Truth! However, he was not turned around and kicked out! Because everyone, or rather almost all the employees of the ominous headquarters fell in an unequal battle with a parallel world. Yes-ah… Something like this.

But that’s nothing, because Mulder was able to freely go all the way to the director’s office and there he became King Arthur, who pulled a wonderful sword out of stone to defeat evil and protect good! Hmm, hmm… But now it’s time for a couple of amendments. Because it wasn’t like that, and Mulder ACTUALLY pulled out a gun, not a sword. And he didn’t pull it out, but lifted it, and not from the stone, but from the bloody floor. And Mulder’s name is not Fox Mulder, but Jesse Faden, that is, he is a woman, and not a man at all. And she’s not looking for a sister, but for a brother. And she is clearly not a simple person, but with a close, exclusive connection with the spirit, which right from the start and right out of the door gives her a couple of paranormal powers!

And she came not to the Pentagon or to the National Security Agency, but to the FBI, or rather, to the FBK. Hmm, what’s the difference?? And in the sophistication of those who are in the shadows and hide everything from everyone! Because the FBI agents at least pretend to be doing something important. And even though they ACTUALLY cover the Masons’ ass all the time, their work is at least disguised as a law enforcement service, but the Bureau of Control is evil! This is where they are probably making that very twenty-fifth frame, bugs under the guise of radio components and nanotechnology for chips, which will then be administered to all of us along with the vaccine. Any vaccine and any person, so that the secret societies have everything under CONTROL!

No, there was an error. Because FBK has no control over people. And it’s not the Masons who work here (although there are no guarantees and who knows??), and strange cosplayers of creepy people in black. More precisely, they cosplay as office workers and crazy scientists, but they work in the name of studying everything paranormal, interacting with the astral dimension and fighting any aggressive mind from the other side of the many astral dimensions!

And then there’s the war. ISIS Invasion! And Jesse Faden simply doesn’t have the time to argue about something with FBK employees and seek the truth, at least for himself. And where is brother?? And what happened to him? And what do the Bureau employees know about this?? Doesn’t matter. At least at first. Because Jessie is the chosen one! When she took Excalibur, that is, excuse me, an object of power in the form of a pistol, mysterious voices from an inverted, ominous black pyramid recognized and appointed her as the successor of the Bureau Director!

Well then? Dashing nonsense? https://jackpotx.co.uk/bonus/ That’s great! That’s what we were counting on 🙂 In short, the game has a hefty plus and a hefty minus. The plus is that for me Control is not an action movie, but a concentrate of satire on all parascience with an action movie sauce. Therefore, all the text above is written not in serious language, but in such a way as to make as much of both the “yellow” editions and the game as possible 🙂

Yes, the satire is fully revealed only when you are distracted from the shootings to pick up a note or read a document with at least two or three crossed out lines for atmosphere. One such secret form will seem so-so, uninteresting, meaningless and simply unnecessary, the other will at least make you smile. At first glance, the piece of paper will talk about a secret, an anomaly, a riddle that is almost incomprehensible, but in reality (yes, without a cap this time) there will be such a concentration of idiocy that you simply cannot help but grin!

Some of the missions, by the way, are also not without nonsense. Yes, distilled gameplay awaits you between points A and B. Dashing, original, dynamic, but essentially meaningless and merciless, but then, although not always, but sometimes a surprise will await you! You’re not against expelling the forces of evil, that is, excuse me, demons, that is, Jesus from such a cute. horses.

The horse that Bureau employees removed from the children’s carousel. What about expelling everyone from. Te-le-vi-zo-ra! Perish, be gone, evil spirits from the zombie box. We’ll clean the refrigerator too! Otherwise he became bad, completely blossomed and began to devour our food for us! You need a yum-yum cozy evening, and he, the steel shit with freon instead of blood, ruined everything himself, and even growls at you. And that means. No, you don’t need to pray with the priest, but go to the astral plane to defeat the monster there and then everything will be fine! 🙂

And you know what’s important? You must expel the Jesuses while maintaining iron calm and composure! So that no smiles, laughter, jokes and sarcasm! Briefly speaking. Alignment with. Jesse! And on her serious face! 😀

A simulator of the destruction of a hated, disgusted and entrenched office.

Who’s sick of drowning in paperwork?? Who is fed up with the squabbles of careerists?? Who is suffocating from endless red tape? And most importantly! Who wants to come to their office on Monday to tear up papers, destroy all the furniture and break all the walls?? Hands, bullets, telekinesis! To shreds, to splinters, to crumbles! And at the same time you can kill your colleagues, who have long become a lump in your throat. And no consequences! If you get killed, the game will respawn you at a checkpoint. And if someone turns up there, it’s still not your fault, it’s his. That is, not he, but the spirit of Jesus in him. And you are a hero! You saved the world! From the obsessed. From darkness, horror, from the dark astral plane!

Phew! Let’s exhale. And at the same time, let’s look around so that. Touch the sensation! Yes, thanks to Control we gain access to the knowledge that “The rich also cry”, that is, ugh, people in black are people too! They are, in fact, ordinary people, whose office work is absolutely the same as that of everyone else who pulls the same burden in life. Seriously! There is the same furniture and the same office as in all or almost all offices. Everything dear, close to the heart, familiar, ordinary, that just aches the soul! And right there, mixed with reports on anomalies, it’s full of financial reports, banal job descriptions and warnings that you can’t smoke here and there. OK, all this is good, but it seems like something is missing.

But what am I talking about?? There is everything here, including notes and letters from one employee to another! And, if you suddenly thought that the men in black and, in general, agents of all intelligence services only prowl, control, hide and shut their mouths, then here is evidence to the contrary! ACTUALLY, outside of their work, they drink beer, play cards, play cricket, cheer for football teams, and sometimes get into trouble when the water in the Bureau suddenly turns off and there is nothing to flush what is left in the toilet after defecating. In short, everything is exactly as Dr. House said in one of the episodes, everyone poops, even men in black, and even FBK agents!

And then I directly remember another episode of The X-Files, in which Mulder’s soul SUDDENLY moved into the body of a man in black, and the soul of a serviceman moved into Mulder’s body. But Mulder did not manage to use the opportunity to get to the great secrets, because at home the man in black had big, simply huge problems with his wife and children =\ What the hell is hiding contacts with aliens, with Shambhala and the parallel world, when there is already a lot of hassle here?

Design.

I think I can say that Control is the story of how I fell in love with constructivism. Because the Oldest House is an ordinary and banal office, a monumental, authority-pressing residence of invisible authorities and fantastic surrealism in one bottle!You only have to step away from the table to immerse yourself in the kingdom of straight lines. Straight lines and right angles, carpets in which sounds are drowned, and stone in which darkness is hidden! And here the simple and even primitive, but effective contrast of color and light rules the roost.

It is here that you can walk and run along the corridor, where the stone plunges everything into darkness so that you can then shoot Jesus in the hall, which will be flooded with red light. And the room behind the hall will become a ring, where in two opposite corners we will find flashy, contrasting colors. In other places, the color of the lighting will correspond to the struggle between the astral and physical reality.

In the astral plane, the laws of physics do not apply. Here surrealism rules the roost and the ideal straight lines of constructivism float against the backdrop of endless, abstract nothingness!

Here the top and bottom change places, and the wall can become both the ceiling and the floor. You are in zero gravity? No. And it’s not you playing Control, but the entire Oldest House playing with you!

AWE

Well, I want to say thank you to the addition, but not so much for the crossover with Alan Wake, but for its solid contribution to the mystical atmosphere! Gameplay with a clot of darkness, which must not be shot or beaten with stones, but burned out with the light of lamps – it’s interesting. But the real beauty comes when you find yourself in a location where the lights go out and darkness becomes almost omnipresent!

Darkness crushes, suffocates and takes strength. And all hope is for an island of light from a stationary lamp or lantern. There and only there you can restore energy to levitate, evade enemies and throw everything you can with renewed vigor!

Base.

Listen, mortals, to the final revelations about where the Oldest House came from! And-and. I would like to say thank you for the return of red sand, with which the location designers were able to create the characteristic Control contrast in the caves.

And secondly, I would like to say thank you for moving us from gloomy halls, offices and corridors into caves with access to the astral plane. No, listen to how it sounds! Caves with access to the astral plane, locations where real chaos of forms is at war with the ideal geometry of constructivism!

Yes, and according to the plot, we come into contact with a person with whom we fought before. And here a person offers us a service. And Jesse accepts the offer, albeit not of marriage, but of a new weapon, with which we join the conflict of order with chaos, the Council with the Jesuses, and even physical reality with the astral plane. Therefore, we need to shoot and leave stuff there 🙂

In short, office plankton, right now, immediately forget about the stuffy office! Open your eyes, open your mind to remember. Yes, yes, you must remember that you are not a boy, and certainly not an errand girl, not a secretary, or even an accountant, and not a director! And not just some crummy office, but the Federal Bureau of Control!

And your life is an illusion imposed by Jesus. So go ahead, turn on Control and show them!